Relationships

I just can’t be bothered.

I just can’t be bothered to talk to people, and I can’t be bothered to start relationships.

I don’t feel I need any of it.

Besides, no one wants to talk to me either.

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What Do People Blog About?

I’ve entered my mid-life blog crisis. I don’t know what to write about! I don’t know what people want to read! I originally started this blog to act as a public(ish) diary- is that what everyone wants to read? Or would it be fine to talk about some of my interests on here? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Blogging be hard, man!

What Surgery Feels Like

Hi, all! I just want to warn you all before you read this post that my anesthesia is still wearing off and I’m on some pain med cocktail so I’m not 100%. I don’t plan on changing this post after I “wake up” because this is going to be a true reflection on my surgery- spelling mistakes and all.

So this afternoon I went in to get breast surgery to remove a tumor. Don’t worry, they say there’s no signs of cancer. When I finally got wheeled bag to start getting an IV started it took them two times and finally they got it in the crook of my arm. It hurt like a bitch and later I found out why.

I waited like an hour before everyone was ready, the doctors and nurses, etc. When my anesthesiologist rolled my back to the surgery room- I still hadn’t had my sleepy pills yet- I had this weird burning sensation in my arm. I was like, “Is it normal for it to burn?”

Of course it’s not and he looked at it and was like, “oh wow”. The nurses and everyone there looked at it and went “Oh, wow”. My IV failed and the saline was going into my tissue and and my upper arm was swelling. Everyone was saying how sorry they were about it. They got me moved to the surgery table and pot slots out on each side of me to lay my legs on. The anesthesiologist put an oxogyn mask on and gave me some laughing gas and something else I can’t remember to make me feel better. It was pretty funny and I told them I was having the best trip of my life. They were also playing rock music in the room so I was having a great time.

So they took the IV out of my left arm anda nurse held down my right arm while this cute asian guy started sticking a needle in. I remember it hurt but I was to mellowed out to care. I was laughing up a storm and I remember the cute guy saying he’d never heard someone laugh as much as I did. Aparently I was awake in that room for half an hour with the nurses before I blacked out but I only remember a little. The last thing I remember was looking over and seeing my surgen look me in the eye.

The next thing I knew I was waking up in a recovery room with a really nice nurse filling out some paperwork next to me. My IV ended up in my LEFT FOOT. I have 10 or 11 pokes throught my arms and feet. Good thing I didn’t feel most of it.

My mom came in and we all talked and I drank some water and took some pills and I remember singing to the nurse. I was nauseues to the nurse gave me something through my IV and I felt better. I went pee and it was all good. Aparently my mom told me she was with me in that room for 30-45 minutes but it didn’t really feel that long. I also was in surgery for an hour and a half even though it was supposed to only take 45 minutes. I’m told it’s because they had to monitor me through the IV for a bit. And man, if I got poked 10 times I feel sorry for them. I also remember telling the cute guy poking me and the nurse that was holding my arm that I was sorry that they had to do this and the. my exact words, “emotional trauma” must be hard for them. I remember they all laughed and said that they were sorry they had to do that to me and I shouldn’t feel bad for them.

The surgen told my mom that my tumor was slippery so it was hard for him to get out but he did and he only took a teeny tiny bit of breast tissue with it which is great and what he wanted to do. It was the size of a golf ball- woah.

The journey home was fine but all the car lights made me nauseus but it was okay.I laid on the couch and my mom and brother got me some fries from mcdonalds, bless their hearts. I really wanted chipolte- I was telling all the doctors and nurses I wanted chipotle- but alas I can’t have spicy food so boo hoo. Maybe I can get it tomorrorw.

Other than that I’ve been chillin and I know that I’m out of it but I’m bored so I’m writing this.

Hopefully when I’m more awake I can write a full blog post on my surgery if you’d like.

Bye for now.

-Jasmine, the boob expert

I’m Such a Horrible Blogger

“New Year, New Me,” says everyone in the world right now. I’m more like, “New Year, New chance for me to mess up. Watch out, world”. I’ve been really busy the past few months. Fall term was rough and I’m still reeling over the fact that I survived. Sometimes I wonder why I’m putting myself through this psychological torture of getting a degree. I guess I’ll just keep saying that it’ll all be worth it in the end like everyone else does.

Since it IS the New Year, I guess I’ll give an update on the NEW me (lol jk iz jus da same ol’ me u guyz…).

I’M SO KAWAII SUGOI BITCH

  1. My classes this term are actually pretty nice. I’m taking three online courses and one on campus. I can say that I really enjoy online classes and I feel I learn more from them. To each their own though. I always recommend to people who ask me about online classes to try one out before you take a few at a time like I am. Some people just do better in an actual classroom. Do what works for you, yo!
  2. I’m getting breast surgery. *crys* And instead of making my boobs bigger or some shit I get to have a tumor removed. NO. YAS! During the Summer I found a lump in my breast and I was all like, “OMG WTF NAHHH GURL NO,” because breast cancer runs in my family. I finally went in to get it checked out and guess what… the doctors don’t know exactly what it is!!! YAS AGAIN! HALLELUJAH! However, they say that there’s no signs of cancer so, phew. Sorry for the suspense, guys. But since they don’t know whether it’s this certain, non-cancerous, tumor or a cyst they’re taking it out just to be safe. At least I get to be doped up all weekend on pain meds.
  3. I have a new job! I work at an office and get paid more than minimum wage! I have no idea how I grabbed this one, but it’s awesome. I don’t want to jinx anything… but it’s awesome. The only sad part is that I’ll have no more funny stories to tell from working in retail. Bummer. But at least now I can sit and work at computer instead being on my feet all day. Bonus!

I hope everyone’s New Year has gotten off to a good start. I’m going to try to update this blog more often because I really do enjoy writing on this thing and connecting with people. I’ll make it my New Year’s Resolution! You know, to go along with the “New Year, New Me.” 😉

I Hate Being an Adult

My first legitimate day off and what am I going to do? Study, eat, and write a blog post of course!

I go to school 5 days a week, Monday through Friday… ew. I also work usually three days a week… ew. So, somehow, I managed to get a Saturday off. Yayyyyyyyy. I don’t know about you, but my favorite thing to do is to do nothing.

Anyway, over the past two months I’ve become enlightened to a very important thought, and that thought is- I REALLY FUCKING HATE BEING AN ADULT. I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT. Jesus, seriously, being an adult sucks. I’m tired all the time, but I have to keep going. I’ve learned to drink vast amounts of black coffee, and have learned how to use dissociation when at work for long periods of time. Complain, Complain, Complain– isn’t complaining what adult life really is?

Sorry if my posts are sporadic and short on this blog, but I’m being forced into being an adult right now.

Moving on Up- Kind of.

Starting a new job is always awkward. My orientation for my new source of monetary consistency is tomorrow at a shoe store. I’m actually a bit excited as this is a place that I actually shop at, and what broke college gal doesn’t lust after shoes? Plus, I got hired on for more than minimum wage, so I am MOVING ON UP. The Jeffersons would be proud.

I’m also starting college again next week. I’m actually super excited for that, surprisingly. I just really love learning, I really do. And this term I’m taking all fun and interesting classes, so I’m all set. I also payed my tuition yesterday. Ew.

Can we just think about the fact that college is SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE MAN LIKE WTF WHYYYYYYYYY for a minute. Why. I’m a broke college student working a stupid low paying retail job, and someone thinks that I just have thousands of dollars in my pocket readily awaiting to pay for school. Again, ew.

Anyway, I”M A REAL ADULT, CAN’T YOU TELL?

What to Expect at Your College/ University Orientation: My Personal Experience

I’ve decided to write an all-encompassing post on my personal experience with a university freshman orientation. I’m starting this post now, but will finish it tomorrow after I actually EXPERIENCE the orientation. When I was looking up online about what to expect at this fabulous affair, I couldn’t really find much- and that pissed me off because I like being super prepared for everything. Anyway, I’m just going to write about my experience from beginning to end, basically. Enjoy, my dear internet friends, and I hope this helps some peeps out.

BEFORE ORIENTATION:

So, I guess I should first post a little back story info. The chicks love a good back story (guys should too you know, PLEASE SOMEONE DATE ME AND APPRECIATE MY ABILITY TO PRODUCE A GOOD BACK STORY).

This is how I start all my official documents.

Okay- back to the back story. I graduated high school this past June, however I did ALL of my senior year at a community college as I was part of an early college program. I currently hold about 50 college credits (51 to be exact) and have already had the “freshman experience”, so I’m feeling lazy about this whole orientation thing I’m going to tomorrow. I have the whole “been there, done that” vibe going on right now. I’m not even moving out of my parent’s house to attend university as the institution I’m going to is literally 15-20 minutes away- that ruins the whole OMG I’M A REAL ADULT NOW PINCH ME feels. I’m really a sophomore now, so I don’t know how I’m going to react to this whole thing as the university I’m attending insists that I’m a freshman as I was still technically in high school when I earned all the credits.

Now another reason for me being less than enthused to have to go to this thing is because it’s going to be happening ALL MOTHER FU*&$#*%@ DAY. From 8:30 a.m. till 5:00 p.m. I will be unavailable to the world. Also, I have to wake up early! Ruin my lazy summer why don’t you.

We’ll see how this goes.


DAY OF ORIENTATION/ THE ACTUAL THING

I had to wake up at 6 a.m. 6 FLIPPING O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING. No, just no. Strike one for college orientations. After getting up horrendously early, I got ready for the day. Make sure to dress comfortably because trust me, being uncomfortable + meeting a shit-ton of new people + being in a new environment + walking so much you feel like your feet are going to fall off  = not a very fabulous experience. I wore (just if you’re wondering) a green plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves, a grey maxi skirt, and flip flops- I also put my hair up into a ponytail and put on minimal makeup. Not the cutest thing to wear, but it was comfy and that’s what matters to me. We (I went to this thing with my momma- JUDGE ME) drove the 15 minutes to a parking garage near the university because it was cheaper than paying summer parking fees at the school. It was a 10 minute walk from there to the college, but it was actually kind of fun, and my mom and I got a good glimpse at what types of shops and things were in the area.

We finally get to the place and are sent over to the second floor of the student union where we find a large room with a table set up front to check in, and a HUGE amount of people waiting to register.  I turned to look at what would eventually be my minions classmates and thought, “Ya’ll look like fetuses.” Seriously, they all looked super young and uncomfortable. I went to go wait and grabbed some water because good Lord the day was already hot and the mass amount of bodies in a confined space didn’t make it any better. After finally getting checked in we were shuffled up a floor to a large ballroom with a stage up front and a podium, with rows of chairs in front. They had some more water and snacks laid out so I got more agua and an apple, and stood in yet another line to get pictures taken for student I.D. cards. So, tip number one- mentally prepare yourself to wait in line like you would at Disneyland, but without the fun rides at the end.

After finally sitting down we watched this video on the history of my university and the “cool” stuff they offered. Then there were a few speeches- yada yada yada. All the students had group numbers on the name tags we were given and got shuffled off with small groups of other students, while the parents went off to a panel on “How to let go of your child”. My mom told me it was super boring, but hilarious to see some parents actually taking it seriously (my mom’s a really casual person and doesn’t really care about “letting me go”, she knows she’s still going to see me!). I was in group 8, which included some hipsters, and people who were totally oblivious to what was happening. The student leader of my group was really cute and led us to the roof of a building where we got a gorgeous 360 view of the area, where we all talked about the school for a little while. Then we walked back to the student union and chose the information sessions we would like to go to- there were about 6 we could choose from. I went to the “5 tips to succeed in college” which was not very informative, but the people presenting it were awesome. I also attended “Money Matters” which talked about financial aid and budgeting in college. This info session was actually very informative, and the dude that was presenting was hilarious. His motto, “Ya’ll gotta learn to live broke,” Amen to that. But the whole time during this session I couldn’t help thinking:

Someone give me moneyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Then it was time for lunch. Foooooooooooood- my only true love. I got a sandwich and some water, which was actually pretty good, and went outside to eat and meetup with my mom. We had and hour and 45 minutes of break time until the next meeting, so my mom and I walked around and gave ourselves a mini-tour. We went to the basement of this building where there was a FLIPPING BOWLING ALLY, and went to the huge library that was on campus. Then, because it was so damn hot, my mom and I chilled in the air-conditioned student union and went through some of the info that we got. We then went to the meeting that was for the people enrolled in the liberal arts college. At this event we learned about graduation requirements and all that shiz. Then is was time for the advising session, where you broke up to meet with the specific adviser for your major and plan for your classes. My adviser was awesome and super helpful. I’m actually looking forward to speaking with her throughout my college career.

After signing up for classes, we got to go home. That was it.


After the Orientation- Final thoughts and What You Should Bring 

Basically, I’m tired. Be prepared to be both physically and mentally exhausted. After the orientation, just go home, watch TV, and eat as much ice cream as you want. Now, I’m just going to make a simple list of what you should to bring to your university’s orientation.

  1. Comfy Shoes– Please, PLEASE wear comfortable shoes. There was this one girl I saw that was wearing platform heals. I would see her periodically throughout the day, and I could tell she was getting more and more uncomfortable as time went on. She was doing the whole penguin-waddle-walk near the end of the day. 
  2. Paper & Pen– Trust me on this one. You’re going to have a lot of information thrown at you, and your going to want to jot it down. Even though you’ll probably bring a laptop or tablet with you like I did, sometimes it’s just quicker to actually write things down.
  3. Backpack– Don’t try to pack around a shoulder bag. A backpack is so much better when you go to these types of things. A backpack isn’t in the way of what you’re doing, and you can pack more stuff around without the shoulder pain you get when you lug around a tote.
  4. WATER– You’re gonna get thirsty, you’re gonna need it.

 

If you’ve read up to this point, thanks so much for sticking with me!

Pickles.